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Also if anyone was wondering, the way to my heart is to buy me all 5 seasons of Viva La Bam on DVD.

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I feel like at this point to make me happy I need to win a contest for a Disney vacation or a brand new camera. Or a car. Or all three.

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Why the hell did I decide going to Disney with my boyfriend of two months then who was also cheating on me at the time was a good idea? There’s so many fucking pictures that I want to keep because Disney but I want to fucking delete because of him. Fuck.
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Favorite memories of 2012:
  • Getting fired for the first time and not giving a fuck
  • Jeremy’s seminar and shooting Vanna
  • REALLY getting into Amity
  • Getting my first, second, third, and fourth tattoos.
  • Buying my 7D and the 35
  • Getting inducted into Bonescrew and bonding.
  • Warped tour, finally meeting AJ
  • Shooting Mayhem
  • Getting publications to work for
  • Day drinking with Mat on the porch & getting judged by the mailman
  • Working with Our Last Night
  • Shooting Amity
  • Uncle Touchy/#dylanrichter
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Welp, distancing myself from everything again. I love seeing Brian more than a lot of things I do with my stupid life, but leaving and not speaking to him, not being able to tell him I miss him, having to physically and emotionally distance myself from him when a couple days ago we were cuddling and holding hands and laughing together and fucking like rabbits is fucking hard and it fucking BLOWS.

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I don’t like keeping the whole “I’m a homewrecker” thing a secret.

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The smallest, tiniest part of me wishes you died when you tried to kill yourself.

Then I’d know that I’d never see you again or have you, but neither would anyone else.

I would know you died loving me.

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I wrote a huge read more about how I would give up absolutely anything for another weekend in Maine with him.

He liked it.

What.

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